Today is my wedding anniversary. 11 years ago Dave Ford and I were married in a small Episcopal church, Saint Alban’s in Central El Paso (I could see it from my bathroom window), by Father Louie. Father Louie was a nutjob of a priest, from England, who lived outside of Las Cruces, New Mexico, on several acres of land that he dedicated to saving abandoned animals of all kinds. He is dead now; our second son is named after him and several other awesome versions of the name Louis from relatives and friends.
I can safely that after 11 years of marriage the one thing I have become a total expert on is ME. When you spend every minute of every day of every year with the same human, experiencing endless amounts of experiences together, you get a fulltime commentator on your behavior and reactions to your life. In REAL time. (Of course this is assuming you’ve married an honest human.)
Instead of posting about how much I love my husband (barf) and how awesome our marriage is (it better be, considering how hard we work at it) and how I grow every day in my love for him (more like my love of wine), I thought I would post 11 Things I Learned About ME after 11 Years of Marriage, which is so much more my speed. (And of course I've learned more than 11 things about ME in the last 11 years but the number had to match the anniversary!) Here goes;
1. There are numerous facts about simple things (i.e. the temperature that water boils) that never stuck to my brain, making it essential that I raise children with a partner who has a brain that holds facts.
2. I am a connector.
3. I am a collector of experiences not things.
4. Moving and geographical exploration is in my DNA.
5. Physical activity is essential for my spirit.
6. Water is something I need to live by in order to feel connected to the earth.
7. I love meeting new people.
8. In new social situations, I ask more questions than I answer.
9. Fast and furious is my speed.
10. I’m a great teacher.
11. I’m a consistent and disciplined mother.
Now of course you probably expected that list to include a few more negatives than all those positives but I attribute my positive self-awareness to the genius choice I made in my life partner Dave Ford. My husband is a very honest man, who keeps it real at all times. And although I truly believe he loves me more than ice cream and pizza, I also believe that he loves me honestly and isn’t afraid to always provide me honest reactions to my life and my life decisions. Plenty of people surround themselves with “yes” people and people that adore them blindly. But I’ve got a hunch that if you are going to work with someone for a bunch of years through a bunch of experiences, the basis for that partnership should be honesty and real-ness.
I texted Dave this morning that marrying him was and still is one of the “best decisions of my life” and I meant it, for real.